so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
