I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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