if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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