yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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