it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Someone signed my nipple.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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