Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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