For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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