but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
