party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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