you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
