i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
