so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
