im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
