he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
