I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
