Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
