How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Randomize
