i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
