Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Never underestimate the power of titties
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
