Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
