Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
