no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
