remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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