You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
