first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
