just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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