I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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