Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
