stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
