i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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