i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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