I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
