Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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