not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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