I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
