HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
