yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
