Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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