Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
