i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
