Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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