CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
