Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
