We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
