This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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