I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
