Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
