elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
