in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
