Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
