If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I supernannyed him into submission
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
